I hope I am not wearying anyone of this topic, I could probably go on about it for hours.
But I promise this is the last installment.
This last thing I want to look at about the two couples in question is what gives each of them the foundation they have/
I’ll start with Batman and Wonder Woman this time because they have the more common kind of relationship.
What attracted these two to each other?
Despite the flaws I’ve covered in the previous three posts, we can all agree both these superheroes are good people. we don’t hear much on Wonder Woman’ side, but we do hear Batman once explain some of his reasons for liking her. She’d a remarkable woman, he says; she’s a devoted friend, she’s…standing right behind him, isn’t she?
But there we have it, she’s loyal and devoted to her relationships. Just the opposite of him in some ways, and opposites attract.
But like also attracts like. They are both selfless when it comes to saving other people. they both care about the good of mankind, and they both enjoy being in the League.
This is where most relationships start from. Two people meet and find thy like the same things and so they spend time together and eventually it may turn romantic. OR it may not. But I always found there to be plenty of chemistry between Bruce and Diana.
They both esteem each other. Just like most healthy couples at least start off as seeing only good in the other person.
So why is Batman afraid to move forward? Because of trust.
This is where we see that trust cannot really be built just on another person’s merits. You could be mother Teresa levels of kind and unselfish, and someone might refuse to really trust you because you are still human and they don’t trust people.
I have seen this in my own life and the people around me. Trust is earned but it is also a choice.
And the choice must be made even when we allow for the other person sometimes letting us down. Trusting human beings is in essence saying “I know you aren’t perfect, but I know you well enough to know you’ll be as good as you can be, so I will trust you because I trust you overall character, and not just by your individual actions.”
Clearly people sometimes trust the wrong person because of this, that’s where they mistake the overall character to be better than it is.
However, I submit to you that the obstacle in Batman’s case is different.
He doesn’t trust anyone (as superman fondly admits in episode one.) This is not their fault. It is because he has unresolved issues in his life.
Ladies and gents, you will not have a healthy relationship for long if you do not resolve your issues either before entering it, or at some point early on. (I do not mean you cannot fix it later, but it is better to do it sooner.)
The problem here is that Wonder Woman wants to move forward before either of them have really faced their deep issues with themselves and the world. She has made some steps forward in t he course of being in the League, but he has made baby steps, or none at all in some areas.
Ladies especially may want to do this. But plenty of men will do it to. Only they fear commitment because they know they aren’t ready and so the relationship often ends after appearing to be getting serious.
But is Batman right to use issues as an excuse not to be together?
Let’s return to Scott and Barda:
The important thing about both of them, and the path I admire Kirby for taking, is that both their journey’s start apart from each other.
In the Fourth world, people who still have a shred of conscience and self awareness are referred to as having the Divine Spark. We know Scott has it from the get go, but what is less obvious is that Barda had it too.
Barda’s journey to escaping Apokalips actually began with Auralie, the weakest of the girls in her force, but one she had a particular fondness for that she never showed to any of the others. Barda disobeyed the laws of Apokalips while trying to protect Auralie and was ready to disobey them again when she found out she had been tortured to death. That marked the first moment when she and Scott actually had one mind, and thought hey were not a team yet, they stopped being suspicious of each other.
Scott’s journey began with Himon, the e one free mind on Apokalips.
more importantly still, Scott went to Earth without Barda and continued learning about freedom and goodness until she arrived. Barda in tur mad her choice to complete her training, which came in handy later, and then broke free herself of its grip.
Barda began to hate the system because of her friend, not because of Scott. Though he was the reason she continued to move forward.
These two are not independent of each other, but the y are not codependent on each other either. Barda did not need Scott to leave Apokalips, and he did not need her. They only come together after both making several independent decisions.
My point here is to show that Barda and Scott both work to become the person that is right for each other, before they even know they’ll be together. Barda makes sure to please Scott even before she thinks of them as a couple, because she esteems him. Scott tries to keep Barda healthy and happy even just as his friend because he is grateful to her.
If they had not been committed to doing what they thought right before hand, they could not have suited each other so well.
To be honest, the principle of “Become the person who the person you want is looking for” is one I have yet to hear talked about outside of Church, but it applies just as much to people who are not religious as to people who are.
Like attracts like. Sluts attract whores, criminals attract criminals, nutjobs attract other nutjobs. And good people attract each other.
Very rarely will any of us be Scott and Barda in every way when we meet out spouse, but we can at least be them in this way. It’s not really about getting someone to fall in love with you. It’s about the kind of person you are.
Resolve your issues now, and when you meet the one for you, you’ll have a super good relationship on your side, and not a super dysfunctional one.
But one more thing:
I still ship Wonder Woman and Batman for this reason; broken, messed up people are the only people you’re ever going to meet. Though they may be very healthy, they will always have some weak points.
And we cannot let that stop us from loving deeply and trusting other people, because we share this earth with them, and we need each other.
I would tell Batman he needs to try, and I would tell Wonder Woman she needs to be humble about letting him work his way forward, and always be striving to be a better person herself.
But what I would tell all of you is that it is better still if you have a perfect God in you life who can never fail you. Because then, as the saying goes, you can let man be man, if you let God be God.
(And by the way, Barda and Scott have an equivalent of that known as the Source.)
All right, I’m finally done with this, until next time–Natasha.