Here again, here again.

I’m back! Yay! Thanks to those of you who still read my posts while I was on my hiatus.

I had plenty of ideas while I was gone. It’s funny how you can think of stuff once you don’t need to. All those people who’ve crammed for tests and then blanked out know what I mean.

Speaking of tests, I should be starting college next month.

I won’t be going to a University, so I hope to escape the grind of tests and finals for a dozen different subjects. (2 or 3 is plenty.)

I wasn’t actually planning on going to college. I don’t believe it’s necessary to succeed in life. Though plenty of companies prefer to hire college grads, the trends are changing. However, I decided to finally pursue ASL officially. I’ve wanted to do that for years and now I can.

So now I have to do all these adult things like set up a bank account and get a parking permit.

Do you know what I’ve realized? I have insecurities about being an adult. Shock!

I also realize adults have insecurities about being an adult.

In essence, being an adult just means being a person capable of independence and of giving something back to the world that you live in. Kids can do that, but they don’t have the same opportunities. The thing is, independence scares the heck out of people.

Especially me. I’ve wanted it for a long time. Now I don’t know if I’m ready for it. I’m lucky to have people in my life who believe in my abilities. And also some who don’t. Human nature being what it is, we all sometimes need to be antagonized before we’ll rise to the occasion.

The truth is, I know I am ready to step into being an adult, and that I’m doing it as fast as can be reasonably expected. It’s just that liberty can be daunting. We;ll fight for it, but once we have it, it’s a lot of work.

Here in the USA that knowledge is a part of our history (as forgotten as it may be.) far be it from me to say the USA is the best country in the world. I think so, in most respects, but it’s good to love your own country. I do think Americans tend to put more focus on freedom then most countries. Often because freedom there isn’t an option for enough of the inhabitants.

I’m just saying maybe my experience of growing up is different; but wherever you are, you have to have an increase of responsibility if nothing else.

I think many of us try to hang on to childhood as long as we can. There is some wisdom in that. I don’t want to give up all my childhood ideas and hopes and fancies (we need fancies) but I also think it’s a mistake to put off growing up as long as possible. When it’s time, it’s better to embrace it.

embracing it might look a lot like kicking and screaming for every inch of ground, but still going forward of your own accord. No one said it’s always a graceful transition.

My dad used to become physically unwell when he faced adult responsibilities. My mom seemed to do it more smoothly. I guess I have both.

I was once a worrier. If I’ve had to deal with one thing this past year, it’s trying not to be a worrier again. I’m not one to stew over all that could go wrong, though I used to be. But sometimes I still worry over repeating problems.

And I have to remind myself that my life is in God’s hands, as is my health, my finances, my social circles.

As Christians like to say, if God is for us, who can be against us?

Well, the answer is, a lot of beings can be against you, but the point is that none of them can stop you.

People like to use “unstoppable” as a slogan. But unless you have something to back that up, it’s an empty word. Almost everything can be stopped, it would be arrogant to think you’re above that.

But if God, who is unstoppable, is backing you, that word can be a word of faith.

The difference between faith and empty bragging can be confusing on paper, but they are unmistakable in real life. I know when I’ve just trying to psyche myself up.

And that’s all for now, until next time–Natasha.


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