Why do we need each other?

I stated in my last post that I don’t think people are better off alone, but I got to wondering, what is it about each other that we need?

You ever wonder that? People say “I need you” but how often do they elaborate on why?

Depends on the person. I think for most it goes along the lines of “I need love. You can love. So I need you.”

In all honesty, though, we suck at love. This is probably why relationships are so complicated. Make it out to be just that peopel are different and complicated, but with a little real love, none of that would matter. We’re just bad at love.

Yet the little bit of it we manage to provide each other is just so good, we don’t want to live without it.

Hence, we need each other.

There’s no shame in that, we are designed to need love. C. S. Lewis broke down human love in his genuis little book “The Four Loves” and pointed out that all human love is need love, because even the love we give, we need other people to want. We need to be needed.

He also goes on to wonder why God would create us, and create, in a way, a need in Himself to love us. But the nature of love is to want to multiply.

What exactly does love give us that we need?

Well, it gives us security. Relying on other people for that is risky business though. What if they stop liking us. Do you like your family 100% of the time? Do people always like you? Do you always act likable?

NO. To all three questions.

Love gives us room to grow. A second chance when we slip up.

Love gives us happiness that is all its own, not one that wec an describe. Some poeple minimize love to security and sex, but it’s more than that, we’re just not sure what to call it. It’s led many to concld elvoe is its own brand of happiness.

When we don’t feel love, or loved, we feel miserable.

I sumbnit to you though that it is worse to feel unloving then unloved. It’s somehow unnerving to feel nothing. To feel selfish all the time.

And so I conclude that we need each other, not becuase we need love, so much as we need to love.

God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. We read that and assume man was lonelhy because he needed love. BIt man had God, God who provided all the love in the world, lavished it on us, what more coudl yhou need?

But God doesn’t need us. as much as He enjoys our worship, we never feel it’s something HE must have.

And Man, mad ein God’s image, had the capacity to love someone who needed them. NOt just ot worship-love. Because God adores, but He also blesses, and man needed to bless.

Of course he had the world, but animals and plants don’t quite feel the same do they? They don’t have a higher understanding of love, so it’s not as satisfying, though still valuable to love them.

The desire to love something at our level is one God must have, being three equal persons in one, and so we have it too. Even beasts have that.

So God made woman for man. But man is designed for woman also. Because we need to love, not just be loved. And we minister something to each other that no other creature does.

It seems weird to pose the question of why we need each other, and answer it with we need to be able to love. But how often does the world get things backwards? It kind of makes sense doesn’t it?

Maybe you’ve heard the song “Hey Brother” I think in it’s own way it sums this up. The song is about being there for your family. But I like the tone it has of just enjoying helping them out.

 

 

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