Fictional Resistance.

I had this thought today, about conviction.

Not as in, you’re convicted of something, but as in the convictions you have.

And I got to thinking, do the convictions we have about things that are not real reflect the ones we have about life?

Obviously with some things they do, the big ones, like if we think homosexuality is acceptable, our political views, other things like that.

But there are sneakier kinds of conviction, ones we may not realize we have.

I wondered if what we think we believe is really what we believe.

For example, fetishes.

It’s a word anyone who watches internet things will be familiar with, I think, or certain movies…ick.

I won’t explain too much, but some fetishes (sexual preferences that are weird and often creepy) are seen as acceptable or normal, or perhaps at least okay to secretly indulge…you know, the it’s not right, but you won’t say it’s wrong, type of thing.

It’s going to be hard for me to define exactly what I’m getting at, because I am not saying perversion, or murder, or cruelty, is necessarily something we’ll approve in real life if we approve it in the unreal, but I still think it effects us.

My theory, based on observation, is that it undermines our ability to fight these things.

Christians often talk about being desensitized, we aren’t the only ones, other people studying social interactions and attitudes are calling out our culture for the same thing.

People even joke about it because they aren’t really sure what to do.

Christians might also call it being put to sleep. We talk about needing to “wake up.” But what does this exactly mean?

It means a sharpening of the senses, and clearer vision, it means looking at what is happening around us instead of just dreaming. Knowing the real from the false.

I submit to you that what we watch is a huge part of what clouds our ability to feel strongly about our convictions.

I’m not the first to say it, but I’ve yet to hear, in my memory, anyone connect that to our lack of ability to take action.

Normally, people assume being asleep and desensitized by fiction and media means you won’t see the problems around you. For some people, it does mean that, but I think for others, the more naturally belligerent perhaps, it means you’ll see it but you won’t feel like you can do anything about it.

Watching dirty or tainted material makes us feel guilty, even if we kind of like that feeling, we know it’s not right, and we think we should stand up for what we believe, but then the situation arises and we have no clue what to do.

King David said “I will set no wicked thing before my eyes, I will behave wisely in a perfect way.” He connected our behavior with what we see.

What you look at is what you become.

You ever get that feeling, when you leave the movie theater, or finish binging your favorite action show, or soaking in you favorite romance, like you’ve sort of put on the character’s face? Like you can be that strong, that romanced, that brave, that special?

That feeling is actually somewhat real.

“The eye is the window to the soul, and if your eye is clean, then your soul will be also.” –Jesus.

We feel like we’ve put on these movie’s message like a girl might put on make-up, it’s why nerds cos-play. (And yes, I’ve wanted to do that, I just don’t have the skills or bucks to shell out on it.)

The problem is, the same thing happens with dirty stuff. We feel like the pervert, the monster, the slut, the psycho, after we watch. You’ve almost certainly heard people claim this, and say they’re sick, I know I have.

In real life, these people might not even hurt a fly, but it doesn’t matter, what they’ve convinced themselves they are like limits them.

As Christians we forget that the war is fought mostly in our minds, and that is what determines our actions.

As he thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7)

We have lost our fighting spirit. I’m surrounded by people all the time who have no clue how to fight for anything they want, need, or that is just right.

It’s because they don’t fight it on the field of the mind. We thing what we consume with our minds is not important to honing our skills, but it is.

Superhero stuff is great for this…if you take it the right way.

Truth is truth, whether it’s in black and white, technicolor, or 3D packaging.

People wonder why we feel the need to break down the things we like, and figure out if they were good or not, but the answer is simple: We’re searching for fuel.

Granted, some people are just nitpicking, and that’s not to say everyone who searches is searching for the right thing. Plenty of idiots and creeps use fiction to justify what they think (maybe not openly, but it’s int heir minds.)

But it’s still part of the war. I’ve learned that if I can conqueror and idea or mindset in fiction, I’m far more likely to address it in real life, and it loses some of its’ power to intimidate me.

This may even be the idea behind political cartoon propaganda. Fiction inoculates you, that can be good or bad.

My concern is that our lack of understand over how it works means we let it weaken us when it should be making us stronger. Imagination is a powerful thing.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Ephesians 6:12.)

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.” (2 Corinthians 10:4-6.)

The Bible says we have the Mind of Christ. That includes our imagination, and what appeals to us. Of course it’s always a war, I have to fight not to like the wrong parts of fiction also.

It’s not like I never feel tempted. But I know that’s what is happening, I’ve started to wake up. 

The biggest lie is that it’s a waste of time to even think about all this because “It’s not real.”

That excuses every sin, and downplays every virtue of fiction. Where do we draw the line?

“It’s just a story”

It’s not just a story.

It might help to remember that each idea in a story is a real idea held by a real creator, somewhere. You are meeting, essentially, with their mind, when you experience their work. Meeting with it more fully then you might in a conversation, because stories contain purer versions of our ideas than we’ll share just in passing.

It’s why fans feel a certain fondness of the sources of their shows. It’s not all hype, ladies and gents, we do know something about how the person must think.

In that way, you are dealing with what is real when you deal with the themes of the material. And you should be careful that you’re fighting what you should fight.

Don’t throw out every flawed thing, of course, that would be everything, but decide carefully what flaws are fatal and what are just annoying.

Anyway, until next time–Natasha.




Why do we Procrastinate?


verb (used without object), pro·cras·ti·nat·ed, pro·cras·ti·nat·ing.

to defer action; delay:to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.

verb (used with object),pro·cras·ti·nat·ed, pro·cras·ti·nat·ing.

to put off till another day or time; defer; delay. (
I admit, I tend to procrastinate.
College cured me of this a little bit, I had to meet deadlines, so I learned to plan a little better. I don’t procrastinate as much as I did, but I still do, especially if it’s not urgent.
Normally I can get away with this, unless it ends up being harder than I anticipated, and honestly, it almost always does, doesn’t it?
You don’t put it off, and it ends up being simple, you put it off and it has three extra steps you didn’t realize before.
Explanation? Cruel irony.
So, true story, this last Monday I was doing some French Homework I didn’t want to do, I had opted out of it on Saturday to do something else I wanted to do more, and of course, when you dread it it feels worse. But the I realize I had to do more than I thought.
It was due the next day, so I couldn’t just say, “I’ll do it tomorrow,” and I couldn’t finish it before class because I have to leave super early in order to park at my crowded campus. (Joys of not living at one’s college, but I would never change it, I’ve heard stories, man.) With this in mind, I obviously shouldn’t have put it aside again, but I really wanted to. At one point, I almost decided to just shove it away for a few hours, but knowing how I am, I knew I’d likely forget until 9 or 10 pm when I should be winding down, not gearing up.
And all the late-nighters looked sheepishly at their phones…
Now, the non-procrastinators are wondering, did she do it?
And this is the part where most people admit wryly that they did.
But not this chick, nope, I finished it; and then I checked what I’d already done though I hadn’t been going to do that. (My teacher requires it, but I hadn’t found the answer key till then so I wasn’t going to worry about it.)
This story may seem entirely pointless, unless you’re really that interested in my study habits, but I can draw something profound out of this, I promise.
Something I noticed that I never noticed before while I was studying, is that I was actually worried I’d do a bad job. I thought I wasn’t understanding it well, I wasn’t sure I was following the directions right, some things my teacher had not even covered in class and I had to skip; and I’m becoming stressed, and you know what I’m hearing in my head? “You aren’t good at this, you don’t get it, maybe you’re not as good at this class as you thought; maybe now that it’s past the basic stuff you already knew, you’re bad at it, you were just riding your previous success. You can’t really be that good at it…”
Let me clarify, I’m student who’s made like two B’s and the rest all A’s since she started college a year ago. I led two of my classes. I’ve found nothing to be too hard for me.
So, I have no reason to doubt my abilities in French, language is my favorite subject for crying out loud, but I was beginning to doubt, not because it was all that hard, but because feeling confused and uncertain hits my confidence hard.
I hate feeling confused. I guess it makes sense, my gifts are understanding-oriented, I excel when I get a concept really cemented in, and when Id on’t I usually do poorly or at least not as well as I could.
But I still almost started freaking out.
That was when it hit me, every time I procrastinate it’s because I am feeling kind of lost in the subject. I wonder if I m doing it well, so I out it off in order to not face my own failure.
And I realized, this is not just me. I listen to my classmates discuss procrastinating, and they all feel like they aren’t really good students and aren’t really smart. They feel confused, and the ones who are less determined to get a good grade don’t do anything about it.
People who don’t feel they are good at what they are doing settle for what they “could get done.” You’ve heard the type yourself, I’m sure. They act like it was their best, but it wasn’t. They don’t do extra-credit except out of desperation.
Yeah, and in Speech class, I did that. I still got a good grade because I did all the extra credit I could, but I was so done with it when I got out. I’m not bad at speech, but those classes are ridiculous, format is not that important. I guarantee you the famous speeches of the world did not fit that format perfectly…gosh…
Anyway, that being said, this attitude can be applied toe very class, not just one or two you particularly hated, and then you just become a procrastinator and mediocre.
Fear drives us. We are afraid to fail, so we are afraid to try. If we don’t, we can’t fail. Or we can  fail and shrug it off “I probably should’ve done more, but I didn’t.” Translation: If I had, I’d be better at it, I’m not dumb, just lazy.”
Yeah, you know, lazy is not better than dumb. It’s worse. Dumb people might work harder to improve and surpass those it came too easily too.
People ride their competence, they can get by with procrastinating because they are smart, so they do. And yes, guilty.
But I’m starting to see why I’m doing myself a disservice. Maybe my teaches won’t care (though they should) but I will. I’m giving two-three years of my life to college, why the heck would I not make the most of that. I could’ve spent that time trying to work, doing stuff for fun, or whatever; instead I’m learning skills I plan to use later, why would I want to not learn them well?
And they wonder why people in the workplace just don’t seem to care. It’s because they never did. They are afraid to really try there too, and afraid to care about it.
To cap this off, when I did check my work like I’m supposed to, I found out I did very well. Only one consistent mistake, and one I can fix easily.
It’s like the perfect metaphor, I did the work, and I did it well. Had I not finished, I would not have found the answers key, and that would have left the work incomplete, thereby hurting my grade.
See how that works? Finishing let me finish.
God’s been calling me out on how I just accept that I can’t do better, and then I don’t try. I think I’m allowed to be mediocre. But that’s not what He calls us to.
I’ve never had to be the smartest person in order to feel confident, but that does not mean I should not be trying my hardest.
Anyway, I hope you found this enlightening or at least interesting, until next time–Natasha.
Check out this awesome song about giving it your all:


Homophobe: a person with a dislike of or prejudice against homosexual people.

homo-man + phobe-fear.

Boy, does this term get thrown around a lot.

You know I’ve never liked it because I think it suggests that every person who doesn’t support homosexuality is afraid of gay people. That’s like saying everyone who doesn’t support abortion is afraid of doctors or women… oh, yeah, people do say that.

Not sure how that works if you’re already a woman, but…

I know I’ve written about this subject before, I’ve encouraged people not to compromise with what the world says about it. I would never encourage hate for anyone, whatever their sexual orientation might be, but I do think we need to stick to our guns,

As I’ve said before, if you claim to be a Christian, you need to obey the Bible.

I think someone might ask me “Well do you obey the Bible all the time?” And I’d reply “I try to.” Of course I sin still. But there’s a difference between sinning and living in sin. Living in sin means it’s a cycle, an ongoing theme of one or two sins in particular, that you aren’t really trying to stop. Not that you slip up now and again.

Lately it’s starting to look like anyone who says anything against gay content of any sort, no mater how outrageous it is even by their own standards, is going to be hung out to dry. Especially if they are a man.

The tables have sure turned, it used to be being man meant more protection by law, now being a woman means you have a huge advantage. I don’t think it was right when there was a bias against women, but I don’t think this is right either. Equality means justice for both men and women.

Am I gong to sit around worrying about it? No. And I’d urge men not to either. I’ve come to realize something over the past year: The world will do what the world does. All throughout history, the world has supported one sin or another. Racism, sexual sin, sins of cruelty, sins of neglect, much much worse if we go to before Christ’s era. And directly afterward. (Gladiators and Colosseums anyone?)

C. S. Lewis once observed in The Screwtape Letters that it would seem the devil always encourages societies to the morality they should be more guarded against. That is, stingy societies are warned against spending too much, strict societies are warned against too much freedom, and promiscuous societies are warned against being too legalistic. It’s not wrong to not want to make these mistakes, but it becomes popular because it’s what we are least likely, as a culture, to do at the era of time.

You can always trust the culture to reflect what people want to hear. It’s what sells, and we are warned about in 2 Timothy 4: 3 when Paul says people will have itching ears and turn to those who will tell them what pleases them.

I was curious about how this whole LGBT thing was affecting television, so I Googled it,  and I found an article (linked at the bottom) about how ABC’s LGBT shows have gotten the lowest ratings of any of their recent shows. And Moonlight was the lowest grossing film to win an Oscar. If you take a look at the shows that bombed in this way, it;s not hard to figure out, even a homosexual person would probably dislike the attitude in these shows. Which is blatant hate and bitterness toward heterosexuals.

Can I take a second to point out the startlingly obvious? Without heterosexual couples reproducing, no homosexuals would ever get here…so yeah…uh..hate your parents. That’s a good message. *Eye roll.

Look, I know a lot of homosexuals have issues with their parents, and I understand that can be hard. But it doesn’t excuse that kind of hate. I also understand that people have done terrible things to homosexuals. Which was wrong. And is wrong. Sin cannot be beat out of someone. I may think you’re sinning, but I’m not going to sin against you just to prove a point, that makes no sense.

I do have a problem with expressing my beliefs being classified as a crime against homosexuals. When you can ruin someone’s career over something they said one time and stuff they supposedly did ten years ago, then my saying one thing is not going to do you any real damage.

Honestly, who is the real victim here? People can drag not only the offender, but their entire family through the mud over the smallest thing, and yet somehow I’m supposed to feel sorry for them?

Well, I won’t change anyone’s mind by arguing.

I will say this much, I think these shows are not doing well for two reasons: One, though very few people will protest gay content now because they know they’ll be massacred for it, not a whole lot of them actually enjoy it. Even fewer enjoy the most blatant, in your face examples of it. IF they like it at all, they like it low-key.

Second, there’s a lot of people who don’t believe in it still. You’ll never hear them covered by media or polls. Because no one wants their opinion to get out there. It would hurt the image that everyone now supports this.

Newsflash, whole countries of people would still say this is an unhealthy lifestyle. Now, that proves nothing. But it’s kind of delusional to assume you are in the majority just because one country won’t ever cover the opposition’s side. I don’t assume most of the world is Christian just because I see churches everywhere. Most of the world is not, actually, christian.

In fact, this delusion seems to have spread thanks to fictional portrayals of LGBT, according to another article I found:

“Indeed, research suggests a correlation between acceptance of same sex marriage
and LGBT representation in mainstream entertainment media, particularly prime-time television. Research also shows media representation can have a positive effect on members of the LGBT community,
especially among adolescents, by providing role models and a sense of community.”

See full article here:

I will never say homosexuality is biblical. Other than it is mentioned int he bible. But I am sorry about the way it has been handled by the Church, which usually either is very harsh toward it, or way too lenient.

This won’t make some people happy, but I think, if you have to err one way, it is always better to err against sin. Harshness is not good, but it’s worse to tell people it’s okay to destroy their lives. You are better off at a church that might be too judgy than one that refuses to stick to any unpopular opinions at all.

Ideally find somewhere that encourages both kind love and tough love.

I’ll say this, Jesus did not condemn homosexuals. He defined marriage as between man and woman, but he never said homosexual was the unforgivable sin. In the end, sins of the body are still easier to stop doing than sins of the heart.

People have been delivered of homosexuality, one of the big lies of the movement is that it’s permanent. It’s not. It can be changed. (Read A Strong Delusion for one man’s story about this.)

I believe some of the kids who identify as LGBT do it because they think they can’t help it. That’s not rue. There is a way.

Honestly, all of us have done things with our sexuality we’re not proud of. Even me, and I’ve never been with a man, lust is something everyone has to deal with. You can escape it.

I know that will make some people mad. I’m okay with that. Because if there’s the slightest chance someone who’s really searching for alternatives to the world’s way is reading,t hen i’s worth it to me. If they choose to throw out what I say, then it’s not on me.

One last thing, someday these opinions may get me banned from certain places, and ostracized and hated. I’m not that popular now, but that could change. And I will accept that the world hates truth. Being hated and rejected is something Christians, men and women, should expect. Don’t take it as a sign you did the wrong thing. Jesus was hated too.

I don’t care if that sound arrogant to some people. I believe what I believe because I know that I know that I know it’s true. And if it’s true, I had better stick to it.

Well, thank you for reading this really long post, until next time–Natasha.

Link to first article: