💕Well, it’s that time of year. Happy Blogaversary followers! 😄
I think this makes it 4 years, dang, it’s been a ride.
Speaking of rides, I have some exciting news. I now have a car.
I suppose you all probably weren’t aware I’ve been off the road for a year almost, due to insurance expenses, and until I could get a car and get my own insurance, the price just seemed astronomic. The trouble was, it’s hard to get a job when you can only apply to things within a walking distance of your house.
I managed to do it once, but it was seasonal, and no luck since that time.
So, I need a car to get a job, but I need a job to get a car, pretty impossible cycle right?
Of course I had prayed about it, and just last week, I was talking about it to God, (complaining more than anything), that it was so impossible. Yet, I knew for Him it was easy. That He could just give me a car, or any of the other things I need to become independent.
You see, I don’t usually get those big miracles people tell stories about, but since I was a child, I’ve always believed in them, and growing up I heard enough stories of God’s favor to know that what looks hopeless to me is just an illusion.
We see no rational way something is possible unless we follow certain steps. We treat life like an equation.
Education+ good career options = financial success
Love + commitment = good marriage
Structure + affection = good child rearing.
You know the drill, pick any subject in life, and you’ll find a formula for it, from sex to sleep.
And if you’re like me, you’ve also studied enough to know that real life is not formulaic. Formula works in math, and maybe science, but never in anything outside a controlled environment.
In fact, I’d go so far as to say anyone who implements formula with their children or marriage is a fool, let alone anything less important like business.
Yet, when we plan our lives, we think in formula, if I don’t follow steps A, B, and C, then there’s just no way it can work.
And for me, that was the car thing. If I don’t find some way to work from home or close to home, I can’t make enough money to save up for a car, and I can’t get a better job without a car, and… ugh, it’s exhausting just thinking about it.
But a part of me knew that for God, this mess was not a mess at all. And I’d had someone at my church pray for me to get a car and say they saw one in my future (not like fortune telling, jsut to clarify, just a feeling that God intended that. It’s like a blessing.)
Well, amen to that, I thought.
This same person is actually the source of my newfound fortune. They needed a new car for a new job, and decided to give away the old one, and they knew I had need of a vehicle.
Well, I was quite blown away.
But it gets better.
As a new driver, I’d only driven one kind of car, my family car. So, I don’t have much experience. I figured a new car would mean learning some new stuff.
And it will, but not nearly as much as it could have because this car has a driving system very similar to our family car. Is almost the same size, and is comfy and spacious, in impeccable condition for a 10 year old car.
It’s also a Honda, so… yeah, it’ll last ages.
I’d be hard put to find a used car at that kind of deal even for a few thousand dollars.
Icing on the cake is it’s a bluish color, which is what I wanted, though it’s not a color I imagined, but, it’s pretty.
You know, one has to really think God must have us in mind specifically when He gives us stuff. All those others things weren’t necessary, I could have put up with a few dents and quirks for a free car that still runs, I’m not in a position to be picky about color or style…but I get it anyway.
This all happened after my prayer. And to be honest, I didn’t expect Him to take me seriously.
I mean, I knew He could, but I supposed there was some lesson in all this that I needed to learn (we love that explanation, don’t we?)
Well, I did have to wait a while, but now it becomes much easier. I can afford insurance on this car, and my mom was able to put me on her towing/assitance coverage too, since my dad had, unbeknownst to her, gotten his own.
Well, good riddance I say, means I can be on it with no extra cost.
You know… a little part of me is a bit smug about this. Which isn’t very Christian, but… well let me explain.
Driving was one thing my Dad used to control me with. And I only drove for a year while he was living here, yet he managed to make it a big point of contention constantly.
I made some errors, nothing huge, but one did cost money, and though I paid for it myself, my Dad always expressed doubt over my abilities. He would also make my nervous while he was in the car, and say things like “you could have gotten us into an accident.” If I made a mistake. Idiots do worse things on purpose than I did by accident, but hey, my dad is not logical nor one to cut you some slack.
My dad also tried to make me run errands for him and grounded me from using the car as leverage, though it only made more work for my mom (of course he wouldn’t pick up the slack on driving me around unless he absolutely had to).
And finally he refused to keep me on the insurance because I hadn’t gotten a job, despite my efforts to do so. My dad makes good money too, at least for a single job person.
It was always one thing or another with the car, I got so frustrated that I hated the idea of succeeding just to suit him more than not driving, so I gave up.
Of course, I am not adverse to earning things.
But… if we face facts, no one is born able to earn their keep. We have to be taught, and some people are not able to ever, they get paralyzed, they have mental disabilities. They experience a series of misfortunes.
Or some are driven out of their homes by evil people with a vendetta.
It’s not their fault, they just aren’t as lucky as the rest of us.
While I believe you need to work in life, I recognize that even the ability to work is a gift. And the tools to work are usually also gifts, initially. We call it investing.
But the principal of investing, even from a company, is having faith in a person that they can pull off success. Parents give their children benefits because they hope they will use them wisely.
My dad’s approach was a bit like tossing me in a row boat and removing the paddle. How am I supposed to get anywhere? The boat is a gift (think of it like life) but the tools to make it work are also gifts, at least at first.
It might be “fair” but…does it work?
I don’t know, for some people it might.
But if my Heavenly Father has taken a different approach, I cannot complain.
God’s way is always to give us the tools to succeed, and in the perfect timing to do it in. There is no ability in us to repay God, or to prove ourselves to Him. He knows we can’t do anything for ourselves, not even make our own heart beat (try to stop it for a second, see how well you do.)
Anyway, that’s a wrap for today, until next time, stay honest–Natasha
2 thoughts on “Free Wheels.”
Congrats on 4 years!
I get what you mean about feeling smug. Sometimes I can’t help but just feel proud to have the greatest Father I could ask for looking out for me.
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